Aye... waiting for results to be out is the most agonising part of the term i say... After slogging the whole term... thats where one see if the results shows... this term, what i am worried most are my operations management major's module...I put in the most effort for SP partly cos that is my favourite subject and also is taught by my favorite prof WZP!! He rocks.. best prof ever... That would be my only hope of A+ unless my final exam screws up... was ill and doing our sp report back then hence started really late...keeping my fingers crossed... A+s for past 3 terms make me crave all the more for some more this term... both modules is taking account into peer evaluation for the final grades for projects... i wonder if i would receive fair treatment... there are always cases where you had already really alot alot, contributing ideas, taking initiatives, helping to push the project in all ways you could... but human minds might turn evil at times and you just got slammed down for nothing... sucks huh..
This is really a tough term for me... really... the most stressful part comes in for running my club. its really not easy, I thought it would be all enjoyable, doing things tt we are all passionate about...but its not that easy on the mind, at least not for me... so many times im so stressed out, so upset that i could hardly breathe... hardly sleep properly... mind cant rest peacefully... its always on my mind...tugging me, stressing me. Al always say, come on la, its just a club, do what you guys can, if cannot then take it easy, we had so much time during our time running this club... sigh... oh wells... sigh... i seriously hope what's left would be smooth and easy really...
anyways.. other than those, school work is not kind on me as well... family problems too... running between school and helping mom's tend her business, sharing her burden for her problems... not a proper me day AT ALL since dont know when... even if i have few hours at home, i need to do house work as well... yea u know, wash clothes, sweep and mop... i dont have good life like others ok, just worry about school, go home and be served by a maid...
also, granny passed away etc... sigh... all these shit... amazed i'm still alive... thank god, and definitely Al, my pillar of strength and support. obviously i can withstand all these myself, but with him ard, things are much easier...
Throughout the term, i seen enough politics, people playing tactics and the dark side of the human nature. Not trustworthy nasty people, fake people, people who got what they want not by the "proper way", but the under table way... i dislike what they are doing, they are so different from me. You think life is so ever happy and lively with everyone? Al says, i used to be so chirpy and lively and happy when i just started out with him... but there are people so scheming and cold that makes me shudder. I think all these moulded me to someone else... all these stress and people i work with... Well, maybe one day i will be like that as well. The painful truth is, these are the people who get what they want. Dont say it is unfair, thats how things work.
That is why i always enjoy hanging out with Grace and ling... they are the happiest people amongst all that i hang out with... so harmless, so truthful, so humane... so peaceful. heh...
I had an opportunity to go for a conference in Buenos Aires for a few days... some student leadership thingy, sigh, money is the devil cos i had to pay for it might be subsidised but could still need a thousand or 2. That is why the rich gets richer the poor gets poorer...
oh wells... we'll see... life still has to go on... my negative affectivity towards life is high... i guess my family situation, my past etc caused that...hope it will change soon.
Toughen up, there's no room for weaklings here.