why??!!

Before all this... i would like to thank Alvie for the nice xmas present he gave me.
A lovely GUESS BAG!
i really like it, dont assume that i dont alright.. thats like the best gift i ever received..

I really dislike this 1 month holiday.
It did not exactly turn out to be what i wanted it to be..
it wasnt like my summer holidays..
As much as i remembered... it is not relaxing..nor enriching..
Only vague memories of A FEW enjoyable days.
Like my bdae... Xmas eve when he surprise me with a present.. Xmas eve with my smu gang and Mer and rene... Catching up session with nana and gracie..

I get bitter that i cant even go travelling at all this holiday.
I dont even know if i can go for term exchange..

I took up some duties that i shouldnt have during this holiday.
As time goes by, i did not enjoy what i was doing.
This thing caused a strain for my relationship with Alvin too.
Days when we are free, we have to stay home the Whole day just to do the work.
If only others realised this, they might have been more appreciative of what they are getting.

Sometimes, one just shouldnt be that ambitious i realise.
If i enjoy what i was doing, i still dont mind the hard work that i am putting in.
I m sorry to pull you into such a shit like this.
I shouldnt have at all. At least you could have an enjoyable holiday.
Make you feel so pathetic when you dont need to, given your abilities.

Its a tiring holiday...
Mentally tiring...
Quarrels almost everyday...
Rushing here and there for things..
Things that are done getting scrapped and redo..

Your nick.. "I just wanna die"?
Thanks for saying how i feel...
Sorry if i am part of the reason why you feel that way.